May 12, 2015

32 weekend thoughts {as random as they come}

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I really should write down the things that cross my mind. My stream of conscious could seriously be it's own comedy show.

This weekend was no exception. Here are just a few of the things that crossed my mind.

+ I'm too old for this
+ Ranch is perfectly acceptable as pizza sauce right?
+ I'm like a soccer mom without the kids
+ It's been too long since I cleaned the shower
+ It's been WAY TOO long since I cleaned the shower.
+ I need a cleaning lady
+ My stitches hurt
+ F*CK!!!! I just got stung by a bee.
+ Yep, that's gonna swell
+ I should have bought flowers for myself, I'm a dog/cat mom

+ If I smash up this burrito I can use it as chip dip
+ Why are my spikes dying?
+ I'm a plant murderer
+ I just paid to have my dog man-scaped
+ At least there won't be more poop dingleberrys for a while
+ I just want to eat popcorn in peace
+ My dog is better looking than I am
+ Can I just skip work until vacation?
+ Is that cat crap on the floor?
+ I'm going to regret this in the morning
+ I'm waaaaayy to old for this (attempting a keg stand)

+ Please bring me champagne so I can not feel like I'm not dying
+ So that's what it's called ( After the waiter called it a Poinsettia when you do a mimosa with cranberry juice instead of orange juice)
+ Snatches overcooked the egg in my benedict
+ I'll have to have another
+ Seriously why are they always out of benedicts?
+ I deserve a nap
+ Dog Mom Day, treat yo' self

+ Little Mermaid is definitely happening
+ I'll never be too old for Disney movies
Is it Friday yet?
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  1. Ha! Love this. I'm sorry you got stung by a bee!!! Now I want to smoosh up a burrito for dip!

  2. Really fun post! I am a proud dog momma too, it's the best! :)
    I just did a post on "Healthy Treats for your Pooch" if you'd like to check it out!

    Have a great week! :)

  3. I laughed out loud at this! God knows I say the same things most weekends! Happy Tuesday, friend!!

  4. Hahah you are hilarious. My husband would love you for saying ranch is considered pizza sauce ;) seriously he puts that stuff on everything!!!!

  5. Our nearest Papa John's has Ranch as a sauce choice. It's good with chicken, bacon, and onions.

  6. I feel like I think "I'm too old for this" about as often if not more often than you did this weekend! also now I want to watch the little mermaid....

  7. You never cease to make me laugh, girl!

  8. You never cease to make me laugh, girl!

  9. LOL. Never too old for keg stands..or at least that's what I'm telling myself

  10. I'm a little disappointed Krickit forgot all about Mothers Day... LOL

    Poinsetta's?! I NEED to try one! In 7 day I'm def. going to! There's no way in hell I could even attempt a keg stand anymore - I'd probly die from the exertion of getting up there, let alone the alcohol. When did I get old?! haha

  11. LOL! You crack me up! ;) Man-scaping your dog made me almost spit my water out!!! And I'm glad everything ended with how Disney movies rule the world!!!