I really should write down the things that cross my mind. My stream of conscious could seriously be it's own comedy show.
This weekend was no exception. Here are just a few of the things that crossed my mind.
+ I'm too old for this
+ Ranch is perfectly acceptable as pizza sauce right?
+ I'm like a soccer mom without the kids
+ It's been too long since I cleaned the shower
+ It's been WAY TOO long since I cleaned the shower.
+ I need a cleaning lady
+ My stitches hurt
+ F*CK!!!! I just got stung by a bee.
+ Yep, that's gonna swell
+ I should have bought flowers for myself, I'm a dog/cat mom
+ If I smash up this burrito I can use it as chip dip
+ Why are my spikes dying?
+ I'm a plant murderer
+ I just paid to have my dog man-scaped
+ At least there won't be more poop dingleberrys for a while
+ I just want to eat popcorn in peace
+ My dog is better looking than I am
+ Can I just skip work until vacation?
+ Is that cat crap on the floor?
+ I'm going to regret this in the morning
+ I WANT TO PLAY MEGARUIT
+ Please bring me champagne so I can not feel like I'm not dying
+ So that's what it's called ( After the waiter called it a Poinsettia when you do a mimosa with cranberry juice instead of orange juice)
+ Snatches overcooked the egg in my benedict
+ I'll have to have another
+ YES MORE CHAMPAGNE
+ Seriously why are they always out of benedicts?
+ I deserve a nap
+ Little Mermaid is definitely happening
+ I'll never be too old for Disney movies
Is it Friday yet?