June 29, 2015

The Art of the Self-Date

Have you ever been on a self-date?
I don't do it often, but when the mood and circumstances show themselves, I don't deny myself a good time.
Ok, "good time" isn't quite the right term. Maybe "me time" or "quiet time," would be more appropriate.
But I'm not talking staying home with a glass of wine and painting my nails either. 
Sometimes I want to go out to eat, have a beer, and not talk to anyone but the person bringing me that beer. Is that a crime?
When you go on a real date, or even out with friends, there's pressure to socialize, it's rude to be on your cell phone, and you are more conscious of everything to do - even down to what you order.
On a self date that goes out the window. I had a hankering for a burger and a beer. I sat for a while at home, with just a twinge of anxiety about going out by myself, and then thought "fuck it" I'm going.
I took myself to one of my favorite places - a brewery the BF doesn't like - so I rarely get to go there.
Not only did I go. I got ready. It felt good to put on a maxi dress, do my make up and style my hair, but just for me. 

If you think about it, the only time you really get ready is for others. When was the last time you got done up just to feel good?
 I sat up at the bar, ordered the biggest burger on the menu, scrolled through Facebook and Instagram and watched a little of the women's World Cup. I didn't have to make small talk, or re-think what I ordered. I just sat, drank beer, ate the free kettle chips and let myself breathe.

It's exactly what I needed after last weekend, the hellish week I had, and 5 hours of volleyball.

I think I need to take myself on more self-dates.

Are you comfortable going out alone? Do you ever take yourself on self-dates? 

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  1. I've been on a few self-dates. I'm super hesitant to go to a bar though because I always imagine guys will try to talk to me (the girl alone sitting at the bar.. pretty easy to approach!).. and I'm not there because I want to socialize!

  2. I love self dates at coffee shops, but I haven't really gone further than that. I think I'd enjoy it...I love (and need) me time every once in a while!

  3. I don't typically but I am getting better. I have single guy friends that do it all the time because they need to eat and don't ever want to cook lol. I love your take on it! I am in!

  4. I love self dates! A saturday morning shopping trip, followed by a starbucks run and stuffing my face with Chipolte sounds like heaven.

  5. When I was younger doing things by myself mortified and scared me. Now as I've gotten older they are one of my favorite things. I make it a point to go on self-dates from time to time. You get to truly enjoy the moment and don't have to feel like there's another party you have to think about. I have done everything from spa days to dinner to concerts. It's freeing.

  6. I did this a lot before I met my husband. Sometimes I still do it because of his unpredictable schedule. I usually bring my tablet or find something to read, so people (hopefully) won't get the impression that I am lonely and need somebody to talk to.

  7. I self lunch date myself. Haha! It can be fun. My favorite self date is shopping though. I wont lie.

  8. Like Nadine, my fave self date is shopping or going to wander the mall by myself. I don't mind going out and having some drinks be myself, especially walking up the street to the bar that has an outdoor patio! Super relaxing and great people watching.

  9. You go, girlfriend! I haven't gone anywhere to eat just by myself just yet. Normally I just get take out

  10. Before I read the post, I saw the title and thought to myself "I want to take myself on a date!" ~ then, I read your post and decided that I definitely need to take myself on a date!

  11. Ah. That sounds phenomenal. I like to take myself on me-dates occasionally.

  12. The self-date is one of my favorite things! Hands down! And yes, it's nice to have a drink out in the world as you're alone with your thoughts.